The grass used to cut itself & we used to fall in love watching the sun
sink into bare hand reaching towards the sky
from our condo balcony over the river
But please, tell me more about the electricity
& my inability to shut off the bathroom lights
Some days I actually think you work for NIPSCO
& some days I think we forget ourselves
Remember when I lived by the lake
& our clothes would fall
to the floor for reasons
that didn’t include dirty laundry?
When our Saturdays didn’t include arguments
about different shades
of paint
When bickering was a foreign
entity usually attached
to the likeness of adults
Am I getting old?
Did you just mutter something at me? Again?
Yes, the bathroom light is still on.
I’m sorry, sometimes I’m too busy
dreaming about alternate universes
where I live with a beautiful blonde
who still thinks
my failures are kind of cute
Where I don’t have a short fuse
& even shorter grasp
of my own emotions
Where I think about our first
kiss behind a broken white door
that never learned how to shut
all the way
But closed us off
from reality&responsibility&realizing
that I could ever arrive
at words like this
Where conversations were more important
than putting away the dishes
& I never questioned your love
even before I knew it was love
because everything was
always too easy to ever assume that wasn’t true
Where you’d still wear the jewelry I bought you to work & read the poems I wrote you
for show
& Sundays were good morning
cuddles and coffee cups
colored in a honeymoon phase
kind of hue
Yes, it’s easy to be in love when you don’t own a home
But I’d buy a million more with you
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